# 3

Okay... you baby. Once, I met this girl, and I was kinda crushing on her. This was right before I went on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. During LDS missions, missionaries are expected to put away all their worldly cares (including girls) while they focus on sharing the Gospel and service.

Well, it turned out this girl was going on a mission too, and at right about the same time, and to the same country. That meant that I'd end up seeing her for a week or two in the Brazilian Missionary Training Center. So time passed and I went on my mission. There I was, being diligent and focused in the Brazilian MTC and then one day I saw that girl. I totally forgot that our times were going to overlap, and it totally took me by surprise. There I was, a new missionary, totally trying to keep the rules, and this girl I was crushing on showed up.

Now the next part was immature and childish, but, if you know me even a little, that shouldn't be surprising. I was embarrassed that I still was crushing on this girl because now I was a missionary. I didn't know what to do, so I fell back on the time honored tradition of just pretending she wasn't there. So that's what I did. I never said "Hi" once. I never looked at her when we passed in the hallway; never waved in the lunchroom. It got to be really awkward (imagine that). Sometimes we'd be pretty much right next to each other, and I just pretended like she didn't exist. I could feel her looking at me. At meals, she started sitting facing me, and looking at me for the whole meal (it was bad... I felt bad, but since I'd started, I couldn't stop--what was I going to say "Oh hey, hey that was you this whole time... I thought maybe it was... uhhh, someone invisible..."). So I finally left, never having ever acknowledged her once.

I got to the point where I could realize how dumb I'd been, and just kinda laugh at it. I'd tell other missionaries about how dumb I'd been. We'd laugh about it. I could laugh about it because it was in the past. It was over and done. I got back from my mission and guess who was in my Portuguese class! That's right. That same girl. I went back to ignoring again... This time she didn't stare. She bought into the ignoring thing.

We continued this way until we were put into a group together. At that point, she said something like, "Oh, hey, didn't I know you before my mission?" I am grateful she provided me that out instead of just saying, "Why have you been ignoring me for 2 years?" I just kind of played it off like, "Umm... did I? Oh yeah, yeah, we lived in the same apartment complex." Like I said, horribly awkward, after that group session, we went back to ignoring each other. She'd pop up every now and then at parties, and sometimes my guilty conscience drove me to attempt awkward small talk (and not the good type of awkward small talk, when it's awkward and I think it's funny--I'm talking about the bad type of awkward small talk where your face blushes and it makes you drink your punch really quickly so you can get a refill). Anyway, sometimes I get horribly awkward dealing with girls that I have crushes on.