For some reason, when I was a freshman in college, I was really convinced that girls were really into guys with really big jaws. Since I really wanted to be a stud, I took it upon myself to get a really big jaw. "But how do you get a big jaw?" you might wonder. This is how--you chew a lot of gum.
I started chewing 2 pieces of Bubbleyum (preferably watermelon) at a time. For those of you who don't know, that's a lot of gum. Some people I know only chew a half piece of Bubbleyum at a time. It's really that big. I'd go through quite a bit of gum a day, but it was a worthwhile sacrifice in my quest for a really big jaw. I thought it would be really funny if I started saving all the chewed gum in a ball (partially in homage to Pee Wee's aluminum foil ball, and partially to annoy my roommate).
The ball grew and grew, until it was really big. My roommate dared me to try and chew it, and I thought, "Why not?" I washed the dust off the ball, and tried to get it in my mouth all at once (which was quite the feat, it was a really big ball). I started chewing and--IT WAS SO HARD TO CHEW!!! I had discovered the holy grail of getting a really big jaw! Not only was it a lot of gum for my poor jaw to chew, it was also hard dry gum. I started chewing it regularly, and in no time, I had a really big jaw. Honestly, I'd clench my jaw and it was like I had 2 walnuts in my mouth.
1) It didn't really work. I didn't get any chicks.
2) Now my jaw clicks whenever I yawn. I'm afraid that I'm going to get jawrthiritis.
Monday, April 9, 2007
What A Girl Really Wants, Really
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
i knew a girl once who choked on a jawbreaker. consider yourself lucky that all you got is clicky jaw.
p.s. she didn't die. thank goodness for gag reflexes
i have gag reflexes. if i eat a banana too fast, they kick in and i throw up. also, if i let toothpaste get too far in the back of my throat, i throw up. my roommate thinks this is hilarious, but it's frustrating. when i had early morning seminary, i used to eat breakfast (which took from my precious sleeping time), and then quickly brush my teeth and lose all my breakfast. SO frustrating.
that's funny. we used to make my sister throw up when we were little because she had such sensitive gag reflexes. we'd show her a picture of a snake eating a mouse or something and she'd gag like crazy.
i don't gag but i do choke on baby carrots and get the hiccups after eating cold pasta
my mom offered to have my jaw broken by a plastic surgeon and somehow make it smaller. i declined. to this day she has never forgiven herself for letting my dads square jaw genes beat out her oval jaw genes.
i am a gum addict and i don't think it has affected my jaw. maybe it has, though. i should look at some old pictures and do a comparison.
also, i also gag (and sometimes dry heave) if toothpaste goes too far back.
i yawned today as i was moving my jaw and it popped unlike it's ever popped before, for a while after, i could hear my jaw acl move around whenever i opened my mouth.
wow. apparently reading things can make me gag too
Post a Comment